If you've come here to find out more about me, I am "just a reader." Or, at least I started out that way. Now I'm "very occasionally sometimes a sorta writer but mostly still just a reader," which may be more accurate, but apparently exceeds LJ's character limits on user names. And so I remain, Justa_Reader.
I read and I comment and I've grown to love this creative community that I quite accidentally stumbled into. Some days, I think: what if Kurt weren't so interesting, or if they hadn't kissed, or if Darren weren't so gregariously fascinating...maybe I wouldn't be right here, right now. But he is, and they did, and he definitely is, and so I am.
A few answers about me (you supply the questions):
- Yes, to a man I've known for over 20 years. We met in college. - Two, both elementary-school age. - Old enough to be the mother of most of the girls who show up at all-ages Darren Criss shows. - An editor at a magazine publisher. - Somewhere in the Great Flyover Zone between that coast and this coast. - I swear too much. Also, I'm too nice. - Complainers. My philosophy: Do something about it or shut the fuck up (I say nicely). Also beets. Yes, I've tried roasting them. - Half full. Now be a sweetheart and bring me a drink. Red wine would be good. Or perhaps a gin and tonic. All the way full, please. - No, I don't write my own fan fiction or keep a blog.
Ooooouch. That song. It always gets me. When it kicked in as Blaine walked away, I just burst into tears. God dammit, Glee. I love you. I hate you. No, I love you.
This episode was so much of what I'd been aching for since the first episode; since Kurt and Blaine talked in the auditorium in 6x04. Blaine was realizing his feelings. I loved all the moments of connection between them. Their duet was so open and flirty, and the costumes and everyone dancing ... it was just pure happiness. And the spontaneous kiss. I was happy that we got a scene of Blaine and Dave talking it out (though, seriously, what was up with the stacks of sponges?) Then Blaine running through the hallways, desperate to declare his love RIGHT NOW.
But at the end of the episode I'm just thinking but I want MORE, I want NOW. I am desperate for it, running through empty hallways chasing after it. There are only five more episodes and I want to have some time to see them happy together. Please oh please dear showrunners, give us some time to see them happy together. Please let that be what you're doing.
And now I'm listening to Time After Time on repeat (the Tegan and Sara version is quite fabulous and heartbreaking) and wallowing a bit in all the feels over this show that I'm going to miss So. Damn. Much.
I'm not sure I can handle pining, heartbroken Kurt. I mean, we've lived through longing Kurt and bullied Kurt and wounded Kurt. But ouch, his face during "Will You Still Love Me" ... That episode hurt. I just want to grab these boys by their shoulders and say Look! Look how you still gaze at each other! Now kiss and make up already, please. (And so sorry, Dave, it's so awesome to see you happy and comfortable and out but this is inevitable meant-to-be stuff going on over here. I hope you understand. I know a gay wide receiver...)
I don't know how many more episodes I can take of this. *clutches heart*
It's just now hitting me, again, that in a couple days the last season of Glee will begin. I never intended to like this show. I watched it in that casual on-and-off way during its first season, and then Kurt came out to his dad, and blam, I was in. Chris and Mike were so mesmerizing in that scene, it just captivated me. It moved me in a way TV hadn't in awhile. And then Blaine showed up and I was a goner.
Glee, and Klaine, were my first fandoms. I don't even remember what search landed me on my first fanfic but I discovered this world I hadn't even known existed. I have experienced such amazing things being here. I have met incredible people and read with awe their creative works, and their real stories. It buoyed me during a time I needed a community and inspiration. I dabbled in writing myself, but never really had the time or drive to do much with it. My role was to be "just a reader" and support fanfic authors with comments and feedback.
The past couple of years have seen the great shift to tumblr and I never really caught on with it. And I miss fandom. I miss interacting. So, for this last season of Glee, I will try* to resuscitate my role as an active reader and support all the authors who do still post here on LJ. (If you get a random friend request from me that's why.)
Here's to one more folks. It has meant the world to me. The. World.
*I have to say try because I'm now a student on top of being a professor and magazine editor, so who knows.
Considering that my last post was on New Year's Day, I feel the need to check in and say: Hey, I'm still here. Well, sorta.
I had intended to write some fic this year, and even got a few thousand words into a couple stories, but then 'round about spring I got severely sidetracked by the real life story of Getting a New Job.
The good news: I got the job and it's a huge change that will allow me to work at something I can really feel good about again. The bad news: It requires relocating my family a couple states away. So the last three months has been a whirlwind of interviewing, nail-biting, traveling, packing, preparing a house for sale, closing out my current job, finding a new place to live and more packing. Always with the packing. I'm now exactly a month away from the move date, and I have a feeling July is going to be a blur. Hold me.
I'm thinking I'm about three months away from things settling down a bit, and by the time I get back to writing, that post-sledding fic I started last winter might even be seasonal again! See you on the other side.
I don't really do New Year's resolutions. But I woke up this morning thinking, in 2013, I want to write and I want to love. It was such a moment of clarity that I decided to commit those thoughts to black and white instead of filing them away in the tendrils of my brain. And the more I thought about it, those two things really encompass a lot.
I want to write: I'm not yet sure how this will play out. But, as someone who used to write on a daily basis as part of my job, it's pretty huge to commit to writing again, but this time, for ME. At a minimum, I'd like to figure out what to do with the story I've been tossing around my head for the past six months. I'm still debating whether it's fanfiction or if I need to create these characters anew or, scarier still, if what I'm contemplating is more of a memoir, with a narrative I'm still living. What I've realized in the past few weeks is that I need to start writing it to help figure that out. Because, unfortunately, I think best while I'm writing. Trying to make outlines on a blank piece of paper always just results in...a blank piece of paper.
And I will keep writing little stories and drabbles in fandom, because it's fun and good practice. And I will send more e-mails to my best friend because I miss her terribly and we don't write the way we used to before social media became a communication form. And I will send letters to my dad, because he likes that kind of thing. And birthday cards to my friends. Or whatever...I'll just write.
I want to love: I think of myself as a pretty kind person. But I could always be kinder, more giving, more loving...especially with those closest to me, my family, who bear the brunt of my innate stubbornness. And hell, the world can always use more love.
Write more. Love more. Sounds like a pretty good 2013.
Title: Not One Moment I’d Erase Author:justa_reader Rating: PG Pairing: Kurt, Blaine Word Count: 870 Summary: There was a time when their love was everything. And that's not the kind of thing a person ever lets go. Spoilers: All aired episodes through 4.10. Author's Note: There's a line in the Regina Spektor song, "How," about the people who will always be part of us, the memories we'll never erase. It got me thinking that no matter what the future holds for Kurt and Blaine, they'll forever carry around pieces of each other, a shared history that neither will ever lose. I wrote this melancholy little story to accompany the song, and it's about the same length as the lyrics. (You can find the song on YouTube here. It's really quite lovely.) Disclaimer: Yada, yada.